The Gangster Meeting

Bob quickly slunk along until he reached a hotel room with an open window. He quickly opened it further and slid into the darkened room. It appeared abandoned. He crossed to the door and opened it a crack, peering through. No one was in the hallway at the moment. He looked around for some card key lying around or some way to get back in if he had to. Finally he resorted to wedging the lock open imperceptibly.

Walking casually down the hallway, Bob entered the lobby. He noticed the elevators near the window where he needed to let AFF in. Walking swiftly to the elevator he ignored the six pairs of eyes that followed him. He reached the elevator and hit the button to go up. A short wait and the elevator arrived taking him to the 26^th floor. He stepped out and walked across to a window in the lobby. No one was present at the moment and he pulled out some climbing rope. Opening the window, he slipped out. Tying himself securely, he began making his way along the window ledge. He slipped once but caught himself. The meeting would start any time now. Spotting the fire escape, he could barely make out AFF crouched below waiting for him. He lowered some rope which AFF shinnied up and then they both crawled along the ledge and arrived above the window they were trying to reach.

“Ok lower me gently,” Funny Face said. He slowly descended upside down until his head was looking through the glass. He then pulled out a supersonic recording device which would be able to pick up a whisper in the room within. He attached it to the window. Hanging upside down was not comfortable AFF decided. He attached a camera to the window and began recording the session. Giving a thumbs up to Bob, he climbed back up to the ledge. They sat and began listening:

“…we can’t afford to deliver the goods. The cops are all over us thanks to AFF. You are going to have to get rid of him before you can receive any of the goods from us.”

“I agree. It is too dangerous to supply you with equipment while that agent is around. We shall have to close off all association with each other until this problem is solved or until the government stops hounding us.”

“I think I have the solution to our problems,” a deep voice interrupted. “What if we could find a man to match this Agent Funny Face? If we could find a man who could eliminate the problem for us? Even better…what if we could find several men who were just as skilled as he? Well I have found that man…and he has his own group of mercenaries who I think can match this Agent Funny Face. We can continue as scheduled if we keep AFF occupied. Here he is!”

AFF quickly plugged into the camera to get a view of the man. An average looking man strode through the door. He had a self confident walk and something tugged at AFF’s memory. The man examined the room thoroughly and continued to do so even after having sat down. He glanced in the direction of the camera twice and then a third time. His eyes went wide and he walked towards the camera peering hard at it.

“Bob, I think we have been discovered…lets pack up and get out of here!” Suddenly a shot rang out and the ear phones went dead along with the camera.

“Guards!” a shout rang out.

“Oh boy, here we go again!” AFF muttered.

“Again?” Bob asked.

“Yep, again,” came the terse reply.

Back on the Job!

It was almost time to go. Agent Funny Face sat in a chair examining his RPD launcher. Rocket Propelled Darts could punch through clothing at longer range! This was perfect! Agent Funny Face then checked his other dart pistol and finally picked up a real pistol in case of extreme emergency situations. Tonight he would wear a bullet proof vest he decided. Putting on his over-coat he quickly filled up several RPD clips and some darts. Two .44 clips would probably suffice as well. Last came his glasses. Picking up his glasses he checked them to be sure all the settings were working. He put in fresh batteries and spare batteries. A spare pair of glasses went into his pocket in a reinforced case that would protect them from just about anything.

He was all geared up and suddenly there were footsteps in the hall way! Shoot! He quickly dove back into his bed and pulled the covers all the way up and removed his glasses. The nurse bustled in and checked on all the patients. Why couldn’t I just have been pulled out of the hospital? Sometimes I don’t understand my boss but you would think he would have gotten me out of the hospital for this mission! He thought. The nurse finally left after shutting the window and checking several patients. Quickly arranging his pillow and bed clothes under the covers, he left a make shift dummy in his bed to keep away unwanted attention in case the nurse happened to pass by later. Going to the window he swiftly opened it up and climbed out onto the fire escape. At the bottom of the ladder “Bob” was waiting for him dressed completely in black with a suave pair of dark shades.

“What are the sun glasses for at night?”

“Well they are like your glasses. You know the night vision and all.”

“I see,” AFF replied. “Well lets get going!”

Bob led him to a sleek convertible which they both climbed into. Inside there was a computer screen on the dash.

“Put your hand on this screen,” Bob directed. He did so himself to demonstrate hit a few buttons and then nodded to AFF. The computer analyzed the hand and then came to life with all sorts of options. Bob tapped the “New User” option and the screen changed. “Put your hand on the screen, ok?” AFF did so and watched the computer analyze his hand and take a copy of his finger prints. “Now you can drive the car. As you can see, you can use a key to start the car…but the computer here can override the key. Oh, before I forget, here is your remote for the car. You need to place your thumb on this pad and keep it there in order for the remote to work. If it doesn’t recognize your thumb print than you can’t control the car remotely. The car has a built in navigation system so you can select a destination and it will take you there automatically. It is still wise to maintain control in case of an emergency, of course, but if you need your car right away you can have it drive to you instead of running to it yourself. But enough about the car, we have a job to do!” Bob threw started the car and quickly drove off. A map appeared on the screen.

They drove to a fancy hotel. It was a huge hotel and as far as AFF concerned only one more obstacle to him. “So the meeting is on the 25^th floor?” Bob nodded in reply. “Does this car have equipment that we can use?”

“Yep! She sure does,” Bob replied cheerfully.

They swiftly got their gear together and then took the fire escape up one side of the building. AFF spotted someone at the top…a guard maybe? He turned on his targeting system and shot the guy with an RPD. It thankfully had a silencer on it so it wasn’t very noisy at all. They quickly raced up and checked out the stunned man. Binding him up and removing his ID and weapons they found out a bit but nothing important. He was heavily armed though; Submachine gun, automatic rifle, grenades. They quickly moved on. Crawling along the edge of the building. They reached a window and peaked in. They were just outside of a lobby and the reception desk could be seen. A half dozen thugs were lounging around. Two stood just outside a pair of fancy double doors. “That is where we are going!” AFF muttered to Bob.

The Mission

It was dark. The nurses occasionally went by to do some task or other. AFF lay in a hospital bed dozing. He had learned to sleep lightly ever since his training and would wake up each time they went by. Now resting comfortably, he slipped his glasses on and flipped the x-ray vision on. He spotted several nurses in the hallway outside and he glanced lazily at the window…and spotted someone climbing the fire escape two floors below!

This was not good! How could anyone have traced him to the hospital? His right arm was immobilized but he quickly reached into his pillow with his left hand. He produced his dart gun and cocked it with some difficulty. Now let the intruder come! He turned on the targeting mode in the glasses. The cross hairs appeared hovering in mid-air wherever he pointed his dart gun.

Soon the intruder poked his head over the edge and looked into the room. He quickly applied a nifty device to the window and silently opened it up and dropped inside. Clothed entirely in black, the figure was hung about with odd shaped bundles. Some of them AFF recognized. Binoculars, holster, ammo clips, radio, pouches for grenades, and other strange objects. The black figure approached AFF’s bed.

“Who goes there!” AFF challenged.

“It is Bob! I’ve brought you some sandwiches with extra mustard, some hard boiled eggs, and some nice refreshing water too.” Everything checked out. The “sandwiches” were really orders, extra mustard was meaningless…just a check to make sure the courier was the real thing. The “hard boiled eggs” were gadgets and weapons and the “Nice refreshing water” was really just some fresh batteries for his glasses. He even included the ‘is’ instead of saying “it’s Bob” which was of utmost importance or the courier was a fake.

“What do they have for me this time, Bob?”

“Well sir, the Agency has found some extremely violent drug gangs operating in another district. They want you to try again…see if you can’t nab some of the ring leaders this time. Is your arm sufficiently healed, sir?”

“It is almost better…rather stiff when I work it but I can manage if I don’t get into any fist fights.”

“Good. I am to accompany you as back up as well, seeing as how you might be slightly out of shape what with your arm and having spent three weeks doing little besides eating and sleeping, sir.”

“What? Well…I s’pose you can come along…but let me warn you…the firing can get pretty hot sometimes. When do we go?”

“Well we have some sources who say that tomorrow night there is a big meeting. All the big boss men are going to be there and we are going to try and find out what is going on. See if we can’t get some evidence against these drug dealers for the courts. Once we have ample evidence against them we call in the SWAT teams and catch them all in the act.”

“That easy, eh? Well something is liable to go awry. These drug lords have way too many goons running loose with happy trigger fingers. Besides I have been thinking about that sniper I ran into…he is good…he somehow figured out how to evade my infra-red, x-ray, and night vision. I only got out alive because I used his night vision against him…put a flashlight on the list of equipment to take. Say and what is all that gear strapped to you for? You look like you are prepared for world war 3!”

“Well these are your spare batteries and I brought you a rocket dart launcher just like you asked. Here are your orders. I am to take them with me when I leave though. But you can inspect everything and make sure it is what you wanted for the mission tomorrow.”

15 minutes later “Bob” slipped back out the window and the room was just the same as before. AFF began pondering his next mission. He slowly fell asleep turning the mission over and over in his mind, memorizing it, the location, objectives…targets…zzzz.

Agent Funny Face's Picture

Hey everyone! I interrupt this story in order to provide the reader with a picture of the Secret Agent Funny Face. I hope you understand what an honor this is to actually be able to see a secret agent's picture.

Agent Funny Face versus the Sniper

It was dark and the street was teeming with thugs toting submachine guns and other automatic weapons. A shredded motorcycle lay demolished in the middle of the road and the men were all nervous casting glances over their shoulders and watching all the alleys. Agent Funny Face was slowly making his way along in the shadows. He would move a few feet and whenever one of the men glanced his way he stopped dead still. Suddenly a man appeared with a flashlight. He shone it down several alley ways and most of the thugs were following him, their hands were fiddling nervously with their guns. AFF didn’t want to attract any attention from this lot. They were too nervous. It was now four in the morning and AFF was thoroughly tired. It would be light out soon and he wanted to get home and get to sleep. But he also wanted to see about this sniper…he might just have to go to bed though and try again another day.

Suddenly the man with the flashlight passed it right over Agent Funny Face. The beam swung back and pinned him in the light. “There he is! Get ‘im boys!” the man screamed. Funny Face was out of there! Leaping to his feet he dove behind a trash can as the street exploded into gunfire. I have seriously got to bring some smoke grenades next time! He thought to himself. Can’t continue getting caught like this! His trash can was about totaled and he sprinted to a dumpster when the firing paused. He dove spun sideways and fired several darts at his assailants. He thought he hit two before the dumpster separated them. Glancing at the neat slits of bullets along his coat, he quickly cocked his dart pistol and loaded a full clip in. He spotted a warehouse. The door appeared unlocked and he ducked inside. It would be several minutes before the enemy found him here…in the mean time he could find a good place to hold out or find an exit and get away! His eyes ran across the interior investigating the warehouse automatically. He turned up his infrared vision to spot anyone and then switched to a combination of infrared and night vision. Using his X-Ray vision he checked on the progress of the thugs through the door. He quickly blocked the door. There appeared to be an exit on the other side of the warehouse and plenty of boxes to provide cover. A pile of metal sheets off in the corner attracted his interest. He decided they would make an excellent cover if he had to hole up in here. He started walking through the warehouse. It was ominously quiet in here…suddenly he felt uneasy and glanced about and spotted amongst the metal sheets an orange hand! He dove and heard a gunshot at the same time. A bullet ripped into his right shoulder exactly where his heart would have been a split second ago. It spun him around and sent his glasses flying. He had to get his glasses! Quickly applying pressure to his wound he made his way feeling along the ground. It was pitch black inside the warehouse. How had the sniper evaded his sensors? The pile of metal! It must be lead or a similar type of metal…that blocked the gamma rays and prevented him from spotting the killer. Suddenly an inspiration hit him. In order to see him the sniper had to be using night vision! He had seen a light switch not too far…his shoulder was really hurting now. He crawled to his knees and quickly dragged himself to where he had seen the light switch. The sniper’s boots were softly approaching him and he frantically scrabbled his hand up to where the light switch was. He felt it! Jerking it down the lights came on in the warehouse. At first he was blinded but then he could see. His glasses lay not too far and the sniper was standing in the open blinded by the sudden transition from dark to light. AFF’s glasses lay on the ground twenty feet away. Quickly stunning the sniper, AFF lurched towards the glasses and staggered out with them. Now he really had to get out. He paused to catch his breath and apply a rude bandage. Then he slowly sent an emergency transmission requesting pick up. The cops would track the signal and a chopper would pick him up and whisk him away to a hospital…that done he had only to stay conscious until rescue arrived. 5 minutes later a chopper dropped a rescue team and picked up AFF, whisking him away to safety. Now he could catch up on some badly needed sleep.

Agent Funny Face versus the Cyclists

Ripping open the throttle, Funny Face shot off into the night. The cyclists pursuing him stuck right to him. He spotted one of them pulling out a hand gun. Veering hard to the right he forced the cyclist to replace his hand on the handle bars to stick the turn out. Then he veered again the other direction. They couldn’t nail him if they were too busy trying to maneuver. The tracking signal was getting fainter. He had to catch up! Veering into an alley he roared down the alley way getting ahead of the two pursuing riders. At the end of the alley way he spun around the corner and slid to a stop. He whipped out his dart pistol. Using his x-ray vision he aimed at the riders and seconds later as they burst through he opened fire. The two riders shot past him and he disabled one of their bikes with a well placed shot. Then he raced back through the alley gaining an even larger lead.

The tracking signal was very faint now! He gunned his engine and plugged in his hand held computer to his glasses. A see through map popped up on his glasses and he began following the tracking signal with a visual guide. Suddenly half a dozen cyclists roared out of an alley ahead of him! Blast! Where did they get all these henchmen from? They seemed to be everywhere! Veering into an alley, Funny Face could hear them roaring after him. Bring it on! He thought viciously. He took a short cut and leaped a large dumpster. He quickly roared out into the street and glanced around. His x-ray vision picked up the six riders in a pack following a little ways back. He had to split them up if possible…He ducked down another alley way and then continued following the signal. He checked back and the cyclists were fanning out to pick up his trail again. Good. Let them come! They could eat his exhaust for all he cared. He had a job to do and now there was nothing between him and the Big Man.

He began to close the distance between himself and his quarry. In another hour he had a visual of his target. The car was zooming down another deserted street. Funny Face gunned his engines and roared after it! He was racing down the street when he suddenly caught a flicker of orange on one of the roof tops. It looked like it was holding a rifle and Funny Face suddenly ducked down. A bullet whined past where his head had been moments before. Suddenly Funny Face spotted half a dozen guys through a wall. He jerked the motorcycle away and glanced back towards the sniper. Thinking fast, he threw himself down to the ground and let the motorcycle continue racing off. The sniper just missed and the six men leaped out and shredded the motorcycle with their submachine guns and shotguns. Scrambling to his feet, Funny Face ducked into an alleyway. The six men who ambushed him didn’t seem to know where he had gone but the sniper still knew. If that sniper was smart he would be relocating. Funny Face suddenly heard several other motorcycles race into the area. The tracking signal was gone now…he had failed. But at least he was still alive. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. They knew he had been following that vehicle. It was the only explanation for how this trap had been set up so well. That sniper had been expecting him…so…maybe his targets had switched vehicles? That would be logical. So maybe he still had a chance! Well now he had to start all over again. First to find that sniper though. That sniper was a good shot and he had been lucky to avoid those first couple shots. He would need more than luck to get that sniper now.

Sitting patiently in a new spot, the sniper snapped a fresh clip of bullets into his rifle. This Funny Face was better than expected. He might actually get a run for his money taking out Funny Face. But he had never failed and the $25,000 was as good as his as soon as he placed a bullet between that fellow’s crazy glasses. It was amazing that the fellow had seen him though…how had he done that? Something about the glasses? Suddenly the sniper frowned…it was entirely possible that the glasses had some sort of vision enhancing gadget built into them. In this dark it couldn’t be anything other than infrared vision or night vision. So he would just have to hamper his opponent. Time to relocate to a more defensible position. He had just the spot in mind. There were plenty of lead sheets in that ware house. He had only to cover his hiding place in several layers of lead and it would do quite a bit to insulate him from any infra red and night vision this fellow had!

Another Chance

The figures pounded up the stairs. Funny Face swiftly snapped his grapple launcher onto his dart pistol and peered into the alley. The guard had left the mouth of the alley way and wasn’t in sight. Shooting his grapple onto the adjacent building, Funny Face swung across and climbed up on top of the roof. From this vantage they wouldn’t find him. Suddenly he heard a door slam below and spotted a large man very heavily built and in an expensive business suit. He was talking on a cell phone as he leaped into a sporty looking car that squealed up. Sting Ray and another man followed him and leaped in as well. Funny Face quickly snapped out his clip and snapped in a magnetic tracking dart. It would enable him to follow the vehicle easily. He snapped off a quick shot. Quickly zooming in on the car which was accelerating rapidly now, he checked to make sure it was attached. It was. Good. That had been a tough shot.

Suddenly something flickered in his glasses. He had a tiny pair of rear facing cameras installed in his glasses that helped him see more. He spotted an orange arm and head come up and suddenly dove to the floor immediately. Suddenly a submachine gun opened up and he watched the hot orange bullets flash past. One took away a button from his coat and another sliced neatly across his chest leaving a nasty looking gash. He hadn’t expected things to go this awry! Twisting, he flipped out his clip and brought a lethal stun dart clip to his gun. Holding the other clip he threw it at the gun man in the hope of distracting him and then rolled out and fired two stun darts at the man. The first hit him in the collar but the second found the neck. Quickly re-cocking his pistol, Funny Face retrieved his clip and cuffed the man.

Moving swiftly he scanned the area with x-ray, infrared, and night vision combined and suddenly spotted two cyclists roaring towards the warehouse. The first to arrive and on motorcycles! Perfect! They would soon be here. Using his grapple gun to swing into the alley way he saw that the henchmen were still searching the huge warehouses. Quickly he slapped another grapple into the launcher and shot it across just before the cyclists reached it. Grabbing the line, he hauled back hard and it jerked both riders off of their bikes leaving them groaning in the street. Funny Face raced out and stunned both riders. He then disabled one of the cycles with an explosive dart and leaped onto the other one. Taking the helmet and removing his glasses he swiftly doctored up the scene. Half a dozen more cyclists came whizzing around the corner and he explained that Funny Face had stunned his companions, disabled their motorcycles and stolen his. He had also taken his black motorcycle helmet which had a tinted face mask. Then after supplying the other cyclists with the details on where Funny Face had gone, they roared off in pursuit.

Quickly picking up the working motorcycle, Funny Face leaped on and shot off in pursuit of his own quarry. The signals were coming through clearly and he knew exactly where they were! He would get all three of these drug dealers! He would! He glanced at his watch. 3 in the morning. His homing beacon would last for another 12 hours as long as he was within 3 miles of it…The motorcycle had plenty of fuel so he was geared. He put his glasses back on and raced down the street. Suddenly two motorcycles roared by. Going the other way. One of the riders glanced at his face, swore and slammed his motorcycle to a halt and began pursuit! The race for survival was on again!

The Boss

The building was very large and the radio antenna had a good range from this vantage point. A big man in an expensive suit paced the room listening to the incoming radio reports.

"I think we...cshshhshhhhhhhhchshhhhhhh...need back up! He shot up half of...cshhhhchshshshhs...he's too good for my men!" came in the reports. The big man suddenly slammed his fist on a table with a map of the city on it. There were little flags indicating sightings of their quarry, the unknown agent, Agent Funny Face. This agent was getting too close to his operation. He wanted him eliminated immediately and none of his men seemed able to keep up with the agent. What he needed was the best assassins and hired guns money could buy or he was sunk. He smiled slightly and picked up the phone.

Agent Funny Face was moving as fast as he could. He was combing through the area looking for the base where the radio men reported in. They would have something there. It couldn't be any farther than 5 miles away because these weren't super long range radios�but 5 miles was a big radius to search. He had just left another warehouse.

Adjusting his nose, AFF clicked on the x-ray vision and the infrared vision for good measure. The combination would speed his searching. He hurried up and down the streets in the semi-darkness of evening. The sun had disappeared and the last light was fading from the sky. He brought up a mental image of the map and began figuring out where the best locations for a radio station would be. Some place that was big. The warehouses were all big though. He quickly ducked into some shadows and pulled out a cord from his pocket. It was attached to his palm computer and plugged into his glasses. Immediately the screen came up. Agent Funny Face quickly placed the mouse over map file and blinked twice to select it. He continually peered through the glasses to make sure he hadn't been found while he searched for possible sites. There were four main buildings that would make good bases for a master radio to coordinate everyone. The nearest was about half a mile away. A long walk especially in enemy territory. Couldn't call for back up just yet though. He set out quickly after unplugging the computer and resetting his glasses to x-ray and infrared vision. His radio crackled and he listened to the new deployments of more gangsters and orders for "Shark Jaw go to warehouse 17 and set an ambush...Keep checking 79^th Street...", and other orders. It was perfect. Suddenly he spotted an orange figure crouching through the corner. He quickly adjusted the x-ray and infra red frequencies to a higher level and scanned the area spotting three more all hiding in the building across the alley way. Ducking into the shadows he continued his surveillance. He spotted an open window above him�there might be a back door that he could use. He pulled out a strange object that he clipped to his dart gun. Quickly producing a large dart, he slid it into the object attached to the dart gun. He took quick aim and shot the dart, and cord, up into the window. Detaching the grapple launcher he attached it to his belt and swiftly and silently climbed the wall and disappeared into the building. It was empty and large but he suddenly spotted more orange figures. He crouched and readied his dart gun and then realized they were in the building next to him! He still had his infrared and x-ray sensors on high power. He counted the figures. 3 in one room, 3 just outside that room, and another 3, the ones he had seen below, at the door.

Opening a window, Agent Funny Face peered across the alley towards the adjacent building. He could see the light on and the window was open. Moving to another window he spotted a large radio antenna. So this must be their headquarters for the night. The guard still stood in the alley. He probably had a radio and would alert them if anyone approached the door. He would remain in the shadows and come out behind anyone who tried to bust into the place. But for now the only problem the guard posed for Agent Funny Face was simply the possibility of hearing him. Reaching into his coat he felt around until he found the clip of darts he wanted. His dart gun could shoot a clip of five darts. It required manual cocking after every 5 shots but was quite useful. He slipped out his stun darts and replaced it with the sonic receivers. It was basically a bug that could be fired onto a person's coat or into a wooden wall to listen into a conversation. He placed a special range and targeting device onto the dart gun. It communicated with his glasses and placed a targeting cursor on them. So where ever he pointed the gun a little crosshairs would hover where the bullet would hit according to the range and movement of the gun. It helped with shots like this where the target wasn't moving. Sprang! Thwump! The dart imbedded itself in the wood just barely. It began receiving and transmitting upon impact. Funny Face tuned his head phone's in and listened. Someone was on the phone.

"Either you take him out on 25 grand or not. That is my limit!" a phone slammed down and the voice began speaking rapidly to someone. "He has obviously escaped your men, Sting Ray." Funny Face was surprised. Sting Ray was here? He quickly removed his clip and loaded in a different dart clip. Homing signals. These particular ones were tuned to transmit directly to the waiting cops so they could roar in and arrest the criminals. He aimed at the side of the building. Sprang! Thwump! Suddenly the radio he had pick pocketed crackled to life. Funny Face stared at it horrified and suddenly the talking in the room stopped. He saw an orange figure stand up and walk towards the window. He ducked down and continued watching through the wall. The figure stopped and looked out the window. It half turned and then bent over to examine the window frame. Shoot they have found me! Funny Face thought frantically.

"Hey boss! look at this. It looks like some type of mic." Funny Face could hear every word.

"Well crush it!" He heard the mic drop and watched an orange figure stamp at the floor. Getting up he thumbed on the radio and heard orders being barked out for everyone to get back to headquarters. Now he really had to run. Suddenly he heard a door smash and splinter somewhere below and feet pounding in. He glanced through the floor and could see three orange silhouettes moving through the building professionally checking the warehouse downstairs. He had to get out of here!

Scraping Together a Plan

Agent Funny Face leaped from behind his crate. He leveled his gun and began firing only to hear an abnormal "CLICK!" ring out. Pulled the trigger twice more, "CLICK! CLICK!" There was a pause in the firing as all the gangsters stared at him. Suddenly one of them shouted, "It's Funny Face! Kill him!"

Funny Face smiled sheepishly, waved and then took off running. Ducking and dodging the bullets he leaped crawled over and behind crates. Gangsters flooded into the catwalks of the deserted warehouse and began shooting down at him. Suddenly spotting a door he made for it. Too many bullets flying his direction for comfort. Leaping through the door he found himself in an alley way. Sprinting to a garbage can he leaped in and pulled the lid shut. He heard some gangsters go racing past. Peeking from his hiding spot he didn't see anyone. He quickly removed his glasses-and-nose disguise and climbed out. Suddenly three criminals came sprinting out. One had a walkie-talkie and was shouting orders.

"Ok we have the decoy back amazingly but no agent yet. Tell everyone to search for a man wearing a funny pair of glasses with a fake looking nose. Tall, dark hair, and floppy hat. But mainly look for the glasses. Stupid idiot stands out in a crowd but thankfully that helps us out quite a bit!"

AFF was quite appalled at being called an idiot but like a professional agent he kept his calm. He came staggering back screaming, "He's too good! Can't keep up! Slaughtering us!"

The gangster raced up and grabbed him by his shirt collar hefting Agent Funny Face in the air. "You'll get that agent if I have to kill you in the process!"

"Well actually I wouldn't get the agent if you killed me in the process because I would be dead."

"I don't take that kind of talk from the likes of scum like you," the gangster snarled and was interrupted by a call for someone to provide back-up. The brute dropped Funny Face in the mud but not before AFF had picked the radio from its holster. Now he could listen in to their plans and react accordingly. He turned the radio off momentarily until the alley would be clear. Suddenly the lead gangster turned back to holler, "I'll be coming for you after I get that agent!"

Funny Face watched them disappear and then hurried off to go find the gang headquarters. He produced his trusty dart gun. It had a hypertension spring which could silently shoot one of his various types of darts about 15 yards. Plus he had a whole variety of darts to choose from. Stun darts to tracking darts. Maybe he could make some breakthroughs in spite of the ambush.

The Beginning

The Adventures of Agent Funny Face

Well for those of you who have chat with me, you probably all know who Agent Funny Face is. I couldn't get his picture to upload though because it was too large. So those of you who are not acquainted with Agent FF, I feel for you. It is going to be slightly less funny for you since you have never seen him at least in a photo. But that is ok. Jonathan by day, Agent Funny Face by night! He sneaks through the back alleys of the world using his ace gunmanship, quick wit, and abnormal luck to save the world in spite of his strange clumsiness.

It was a dark night. The rain pattered down softly over a silhouetted figure hunched over in the doorway of an abandoned warehouse. This section of town was overrun by drug lords and their goons. No one wandered the streets unarmed here. The figure spotted something move in the rain. His sharp eyes instantly picked out the hunched form of three henchmen trudging through the rain. They were followed by a business man. Starting forward with a slight swagger the silhouette lurched forward in a drunken gait. Slurring his words, he hailed the henchmen who looked at each other and laughed before shoving him aside. Falling flat on his face in the muddy street, the silhouette remained still. Just as the businessman passed, he leaped to his feet. completely coherent and shoving a gun to the man's temple!

"Nobody move or he gets it!" Agent Funny Face shouted. The henchmen spun around and submachine guns appeared in their hands. Nobody moved and the businessman shouted for his men to put down their guns. Funny Face, aka FF, smiled and backed away with the businessman. "So Sting Ray," he addressed the man. "I finally caught up with you. I have a couple questions." They had backed into a warehouse and he was hurrying the man toward his car. There was a sudden "click!". Agent Funny Face, startled hit the dirt. Stingray raced off as automatic fire began blasting the dark warehouse to shreds. Diving forward he stumbled over a crate. A dozen bullets wizzed over his head. Falling behind the crate, a figure loomed up and shredded the crate with its submachine gun. Face glanced out from behind his chewed up crate and leaped to his feet. Gun swinging toward his assailant, he pulled the trigger and blasted the submachine gun from his opponents hands. Suddenly Face's pants snagged on a splintered crate and jerked him to the ground with a resounding "RRRRIIIIIIPPPPP!" His gun went flying off into the darkness. "Blast it!" Face muttered and glanced peered into the darkness. It was fairly quiet but he could hear shouts and running feet coming closer. The wounded henchman was scrabbling around in the dark looking for his gun. Face leaped for him and knocked him out. Face then glanced around frantically looking for his gun to no avail as the lights burst on in a brilliant blaze of brightness. Blinded, he reeled backwards and heard shouts. "There they are!" Machine guns began blasting away and he dove to the ground. Bullets spattered all around him. His eyes adjusted and he suddenly spotted his gun, lying on the ground ten feet away. He had miraculously landed behind a crate however it wouldn't last long though as splinters were flying in all directions. The other henchman was dead. Shot through dozens of times by his cold companions. His submachine gun however was only 6 feet in the opposite direction from Face's pistol. Face leaped towards the submachine gun. In a flash he had it in his hand. Doing a forwards somersault, he checked the clip. Must be about ten shots left! He pushed off with his feet and dove backwards towards the diminishing crate and his gun again and everything slowed down...in slow motion he threw his head back and "TACTACTACTACTAC!" He shot his pistol. It soared into the air landing in his outstretched hand. Discarding the submachine gun, Face braced himself and leaped!

Introduction!

Hello Readers! I have created this blog explicitly for Agent Funny Face and his missions. The main reason I have started it is at the urging of one of my best friends who wanted me to switch from my xanga to blogger, saying that few people look at xanga as compared to blogspot. Of course he was right. John is quite often correct cause he is a genius. I highly recommend checking out his blog. Hey i just discovered how to make those links! I finally figured out how to add images too! Awesome! Well now I can decorate my blog more! Cool! Well enjoy readers!